i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Randomize
