Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
