I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
