I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
