yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
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