I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
what the fuck happened to the tacos
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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