Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
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