What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Randomize
