If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
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