I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
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