How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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