Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize