I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
