Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
