I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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