Little spoons don't ask big questions
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
