I don't usually arrange sex via text message
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize