Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
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