He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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