I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
