I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
