I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
