This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
