just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
