i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Randomize
