laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize