umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
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