I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
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