you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
