so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
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