"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
