Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
