No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
i believe in u and ur pee
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize