so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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