i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Randomize
