My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Randomize
