After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
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