Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
