I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
