i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
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