last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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