super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Randomize
