i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
