piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
