Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
