I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
