Non-Jews are for practice
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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