New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
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