Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
He did a backflip because drugs
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
