My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
They have beer where we have blood.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
Randomize
