i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
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