I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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