Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
