just come out here and I will go home with you...
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
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