in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
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