We're like a lot better than the average bears
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Randomize
