Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
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