Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
