He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
