i may or may not be watching the land before time
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
We're not piercing ourselves today.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
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