Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
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