I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
