I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
