haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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