you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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