All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
